There’s a lot of bad relationship advice going around, so our best advice is…don’t believe everything you hear! Although an unbiased, third-person perspective can help clear some things up when it comes to your dating life, it can just as often steer us in the wrong direction.
The problem with outside advice is they don’t know your relationship, or yourself, better than you do. We’re not suggesting you shun any advice that comes your way – we’re just saying the next time you hear these common relationship tips, consider how much it actually applies to you.
1. “Lower your standards”: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing the type of qualities you are looking for in a person. You should always be searching for someone who embodies those qualities.
2. “You need to change him/her”: If you’re trying to change everything about your partner it’s the relationship that isn’t working, not them.
3. “Never Go To Bed Angry”: there’s actually nothing wrong with it; sleeping on it can help you both discuss the argument with a clear head in the morning.
4. “The fun doesn’t last”: The person you choose to share your life with should make your life better.
5. “Opposites attract”: Researchers from the University of California disproved this myth and suggested we do, in fact, find ourselves drawn to people who are similar to ourselves.
6. “Arguing is unhealthy”: Arguing is actually good for your relationship if the two of you are doing it right.
7. “Love is enough”: The idea that when you’ve met the right person it’s all smooth sailing is far from the truth. Like any success in life, it requires effort and hard work.
8. “Give him/her the silent treatment”: Whether you are purposely leaving the person hanging through text or you’re upset and not talking to your partner, the silent treatment is never a good idea. Communication is the key to a successful relationship.
9. “Learn to be irresistible”: Turning up the heat in a relationship is never a bad idea, but trying to become someone you’re not will almost always fail.
10. “Be strong but not too strong”: The healthy way, however, is to inhabit how you feel at any given moment or scenario in a genuine way: whether that’s anger or fear.
11. “Get married because ‘it’s time’”: Follow your own intuition and life path and if that means staying single until you’re 45 or forever.
12. “Relationships should be easy”: Think about it, when did you ever have or accomplish anything great without hard work?
13. “Jealousy means they love you”: Instead it probably means that there is some sort of self esteem issue going on with your partner.
14. “No one will love you like they do”: This is a phrase that is often used to keep an individual in an abusive relationship. Don’t allow this bad advice to keep you stuck in a harmful relationship.”
15. Be the boss: In a healthy relationship, each partner has a field where he or she shines and logically they take the lead in those situations.
16. “Love comes when you least expect it”: this is bad advice because “it takes the ownership off of you to go out there and find it.
” 17. “Don’t make a small problem bigger”: bottling up your emotions is just about the worst thing you can do because the little things add up to a big thing and it’ll be much more difficult to solve a problem of that scale.
18. “We are supposed to meet each other’s needs”: According to marriage and family therapist Hal Runkel, this is the most horrible piece of advice imaginable.
19. “Cyber-snooping can save you from the wrong partner”: Snooping destroys trust, which is the foundation of a healthy relationship.”